In honor of Micheal Gambon, the actor for Albus Dumbledore from the Harry Potter films passing away, I'd like to write a little article about the movies. The movies were pretty good. In fact, they were so good that it took me 20 years to watch all of them. I had to pause every minute to rewatch the incredible special effects and wondrous acting.
Now, I'm going to give a very quick summary of every movie, for anybody who has not watched these British films.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
Harry Potter, an 11-year-old boy, is abused at home for having magic powers but does not know how to use said magic powers. A half-giant, Hagrid, abducts him and takes Harry to magic school. Harry gets bullied by a bleach-blonde boy with daddy issues, Draco Malfoy. Draco bullies him by blowing him a paper origami crane across the classroom. Harry discovers the mystery of a cool red stone and searches for it. He ends up defeating a professor who has a talking tumor on the back of his head. The tumor turns out to be Voldemort, the Dark Lord. Ron’s only power is chess. Hermione is made fun of for being a “know-it-all.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
It’s Harry's second year at Hogwarts, and he’s about to almost die again. A bunch of students and ghosts are being petrified by a giant snake creature. Harry finds a journal. He writes in it and gets a response. Former student Tom Riddle is communicating through the book. Hermione gets petrified, unfortunately, leaving Harry with the dreadful Ron. However, she left behind a clue, letting Harry know what monster they’re dealing with. Ron and Harry go to the Forbidden Forest and almost get eaten by Hagrid’s building-size pet spider, Aragog. The two run away and find the school sewer system. The Sorting Hat DoorDashes Harry a magic sword, which he, a 12-year-old, uses to kill the giant snake. He then stabs the journal, getting rid of the ghost of Tom Riddle that had been creeping on him.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
As usual, the movie starts with Harry’s abusive family. This time, however, he turns his aunt into a balloon, sending her flying above him. Harry learns that a very nefarious villain has escaped the best magic prison in the world and is about to kill him. Scary death ghosts are set up around the school to look out for Sirius Black, the escapee. Redhead Twins give Harry a map to see people’s footprints. Harry figures out that the escapee is his uncle. Everything’s going to hell and Hermione uses a time object to turn back time. Ron is busted so he stays behind (ugh, finally). Harry and Hermione fix everything within 3 hours, without Ron. Sirius escapes execution. One of the professors is a werewolf and quits because of speciesism.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter is anonymously entered into a magical wizarding competition for those above 18 while he is still 14, and we later find out a wizarding world terrorist entered him. For some reason, all the adults just let Harry stay in. They probably want him to die or something. This movie introduces a bunch of new characters, all of which are attractive. French Fleur, Viktor Krum, Hufflepuff Guy, and Cho Chang. Really great stuff here. Anyway, Harry does not in fact win the competition, despite common misconceptions. Instead, Hufflepuff Guy dies because of Voldemort, who is now no longer a talking tumor but a whole entire person. This is the beginning of Harry’s emo phase, understandably.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry legitimately has PTSD, like, for real. People think he’s crazy for thinking Voldemort has returned. A dictator comes to Hogwarts and starts to run the school. She completely overpowers Dumbledore. Harry gets abused more, but, this time, it’s by a teacher, so… Oh, but everybody does too, so at least he’s not alone. Harry finds a secret room in the school to hold extracurricular magic class. He teaches other kids how to use attacking spells. Draco catches Cho Chang and she snitches. Harry’s no longer into her. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and others go to the magic Congress building and try to beat up Voldemort’s goons. Voldemort kills Harry’s only decent relative, escapee Sirius Black. Harry becomes more emo, but he’s not the only one, once again, so it’s okay.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Harry finds a book with annotations on how to properly make potions. His creepy teacher made it. Harry uses those new potion instructions to excel in class. Draco’s going off the deep end. He has to do evil deeds or the noseless man is going to kill him. It’s alluded that Hermione and Ron want to pursue an incredibly off-putting and unnecessary romantic relationship. Harry almost kills Draco in the bathroom after he finds the blonde crying while staring at his reflection. Ron almost dies due to poisoning but survives. Dumbledore doesn't survive. He’s killed by magic world terrorists whom Draco let into the school through a huge cabinet.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
The main trio is looking for horcruxes - Voldemort’s magic soul pieces. They try not to die from spooky ghost entities and magic world terrorists. Ron disappears for half the movie because he’s jealous of Harry being a good person, and, as a result, Hermione liking him. Hermione and Harry succeed more without Ron than they did with him. Redhead only comes back at the end to save Harry from dying in a frozen lake. Overall, Ron’s useless and more of a ghost than the dementors. Voldemort takes dead Dumbledore’s wand from his casket.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Voldemort is obviously going after Harry now that he has a stolen wand from a powerful dead guy. Harry dies but comes back to life after talking with Dumbledore in limbo. All the bad guys get scared and intimidated by the 17-year-old and leave Voldemort’s side. Voldemort casts a death spell, Harry reflects it, and it boings backward, hitting Voldemort. Voldemort dies. Harry makes it to at least 25. The end.
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